Chip Shots from the Couch

We’ve been doubly lucky by having back to back weeks of golf viewing from the House That Jack Built, the testing course at Muirfield Village. The course played short and soft last week as it gracefully stood in for the scheduled John Deere Classic that fell away due the the pandemic.

This week has the course in typical Memorial shape, fast and firm and getting more so, with a bit of howling wind as well.

But not a drop of rain to be seen, so far. Downpours and rain delays are de riguer for Jack’s tournament when it’s played in the usual slot of late spring. It was even that way during the 2013 President’s Cup staged October 3-6. My brother Jeff and nephew Ty and I damn neared drowned during that week, our one visit to the club as spectators.

I was nice and dry and warm I’m my man cave today, enjoying the telecast as the lads in the afternoon wave made their way round. Some observations:

• Phil was off to a shaky start, rinsing his approach on #3. He’s always tinkering with something, it seems. Slimmed down physique to start the year, Cool Hand Luke sun glasses to start the restart and now he’s got the full stop in his putting stoke. When I first saw it I figured he was imitating Hideki Matsuyama’s full swing stop at the top, with a putter variation. As he played this throughout the round on all short putts, I figured it out. Phil’s really emulating Charles Barkley’s infamous move. Keep it up Phil.

• Brooks Koepka also strayed early on. He pulled his tee ball at #2 into the left hand stream and then corrected on #3 tee by rinsing it to the right. I know how to do that. Brooks never seemed comfortable but he still ground out an even par 72. He was in the glamour grouping of the day with Tiger and Rory but his expression looked like he was enduring root canal. Smile Brooksie.

• Sergio also in with 72. He had a downhill slider on #8 green that he read with four feet of break. The putt moved maybe two inches. Go figure.

• What the hell is Marcus by Goldman Sachs? Like we really need another robber baron bank cluttering up the PGA Tour landscape. Ads and sponsors pay most of the bills, I know, but is American Golf ever going to escape the clutches of the WASP establishment that is so off putting to me and to the majority of folks?

• 2019 US Open champ Gary Woodland had a fine 4 under par round of 68. He obviously like this track as he finished fifth in last week’s Workday Charity Tournament. He’s also in the advert business it seems, as his shirts are now billboards. Last week I saw him bedecked with a vertical AMERICA down his shirt back. Today it was FREEDOM. I sense a theme. It’s also a revenue opportunity. Just like thoroughbred jockeys who sell advertising space on their riding pants. It’s the next hot thing in player revenue optimization. You heard it here first.

• Maybe Tony Finau is finally ready to grab his second tour victory. He’s the clubhouse leader after round one with a sizzling 6 under par 66. Tony stroked nine birdie putts today, against three bogeys. His tee ball on #18 was launched well above the stand of trees positioned to guard the inside of the dogleg elbow on that hole. 368 yards, thank you, flip wedge, thank you, ninth birdie, thank you. This should come as no surprise to anyone of us golf junkies who watched the nine hole match play charity event on Wednesday. Finau and John Rahm absolutely smoked the UK pairing of Ian Poulter and Graeme McDowell, with Finau providing most of the firepower-five birdies and an eagle in the first eight holes. Tony was primed. I hope he can hold sway; still a lot of golf to play.

• Back to Brooks. His tee ball on #11 found deep wilderness left of the fairway and his recovery shot landed at the base of a tree. He played his third with his butt straddling that oak tree. It was the only time I saw a smile on his face all day, sort of like wearing a thong.

• Tour Edge Golf has a new ad campaign featuring a group of Champions Tour pro’s. Tom Lehman, Scott McCarron, Duffy Waldorf and Tim Petrovic are portrayed in some kind of golfing disco dance that is the working definition of white bread duffyness. I hope those boys are getting beacoup d’argent for that sad display. If not, they need new agents.

• I’ll finish up with Phil. I give Lefty the malook on every shot I see him take. That’s the evil eye for the uninitiated. After twenty plus years of fandom, cutting him all kinds of slack for slights and abuse of the game and it’s inhabitants, I finally cut bait after his disgraceful display at the Shinnecock US Open in 2018. Phil is convinced he can still win on the PGA Tour. I’m equally convinced he will never win on that tour again. So I take twisted pleasure in watching him pursue his unattainable quest. Keep at it Phil. I got my eye on you.